I get home and lay down on my bed. I'm lucky nobody else is here at the moment but I guess the boys will come over soon. I get up again to shower. The warm water is so relaxing and let's me forget about my thoughts for a while.
But as soon as I leave the shower again the memories and feelings are back as well as the cold. I wrap a towel around my body and dry my hair. After getting dressed I go and make a hot chocolate and then sit down on the sofa with my laptop in front of me.
Time to drown in memories!
I turn the laptop on and log in on twitter. I don't tweet anything but just check the people's tweets. They realized that something's not normal for me today. Of course the other boys are also still upset about it but they didn't feel the way I feel about her.
But I know Wilma feels nearly the same way. They were best friends and I guess she wanted to have her by her side when she's giving birth. She said she's really sorry especially for me, even though she was also very important to her.
I search on youtube if anyone recorded the twitcam she and I had, which they of course did. I get my hot chocolate and a box full of ice cream and watch it. I feel like a heartbroken girl and the tears suddenly stream down my cheeks.
She looked so beautiful that day even though she was just in sweatpants and that dark blue sweater. She told me she made it herself and I loved this piece of clothing but she took it with her when she left.
Then I reach the part when I had to go to the toilet and she continued talking to our viewers. "Are you in a relationship with him?", they ask and the girl who uploaded that video says proudly that it was her tweet. She shakes her head and giggles.
"No! Niall and I are just good friends. Well... best friends...", she adds smiling. I can see that she really means it. She never loved me back. She maybe did when we first met. I remember when Wilma told me that I'm her favorite but I guess this changed.
I was in friendzone and once you're in there I guess it's hard to get out of there again. But at least I now know that she still saw me as a friend. She didn't hate me. Well at least not at this moment.
After I finished watching the twitcam I look at her tweets. Yes, the last thing she tweeted was exactly one year ago. "Let's leave the old life behind and start a new one." Who would've known that phrase is going to fit so well? But there's one thing I realize when I look at the time; she tweeted that AFTER the police said the accident happened...
They may have made a mistake, right?
<--- 4th chap
6th chap --->
But as soon as I leave the shower again the memories and feelings are back as well as the cold. I wrap a towel around my body and dry my hair. After getting dressed I go and make a hot chocolate and then sit down on the sofa with my laptop in front of me.
Time to drown in memories!
I turn the laptop on and log in on twitter. I don't tweet anything but just check the people's tweets. They realized that something's not normal for me today. Of course the other boys are also still upset about it but they didn't feel the way I feel about her.
But I know Wilma feels nearly the same way. They were best friends and I guess she wanted to have her by her side when she's giving birth. She said she's really sorry especially for me, even though she was also very important to her.
I search on youtube if anyone recorded the twitcam she and I had, which they of course did. I get my hot chocolate and a box full of ice cream and watch it. I feel like a heartbroken girl and the tears suddenly stream down my cheeks.
She looked so beautiful that day even though she was just in sweatpants and that dark blue sweater. She told me she made it herself and I loved this piece of clothing but she took it with her when she left.
Then I reach the part when I had to go to the toilet and she continued talking to our viewers. "Are you in a relationship with him?", they ask and the girl who uploaded that video says proudly that it was her tweet. She shakes her head and giggles.
"No! Niall and I are just good friends. Well... best friends...", she adds smiling. I can see that she really means it. She never loved me back. She maybe did when we first met. I remember when Wilma told me that I'm her favorite but I guess this changed.
I was in friendzone and once you're in there I guess it's hard to get out of there again. But at least I now know that she still saw me as a friend. She didn't hate me. Well at least not at this moment.
After I finished watching the twitcam I look at her tweets. Yes, the last thing she tweeted was exactly one year ago. "Let's leave the old life behind and start a new one." Who would've known that phrase is going to fit so well? But there's one thing I realize when I look at the time; she tweeted that AFTER the police said the accident happened...
They may have made a mistake, right?
<--- 4th chap
6th chap --->